Great post. Love your sense of humor. Also, my personal guideline for clapping (I mean, in the short amount of time I've been on Medium ... and since I've learned that one can, in fact, clap up to 50 times for a single article) is to help the claps reach a round number.

So, if I see 94 claps, for instance (which is what your article had), I will add six claps (which is what I did) so that you now have a nicely rounded figure of 100 claps for the article.

Which probably beats the total number of claps I've gotten for all my articles combined ... but as I mentioned, I'm new here.

Though not new to writing.

All the best, Mr. D. Hopkins. :)